SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
