My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
