You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
