Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
