it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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