So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
