This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is Oprah even human
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
