Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
