I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
