So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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