Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
