I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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