Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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