operation harelip BJ is a go
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
