WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
