so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I checked into jail on foursquare
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
