She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
