i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i love accidental penises.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
