I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
