There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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