i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
