My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
