i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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