my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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