Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
