I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
