i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
