NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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