Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
