i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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