he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
