it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
