i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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