Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
