Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
