Where is the hickey?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
