I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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