I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
