and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There was a lot of him and a little penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
