i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
