I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
