You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize