Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize