I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
