and i looked up. we had an audience...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
