Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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