So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
