I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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