Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
