but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
