is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
