So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
