hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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