are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
