Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
