I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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