you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
