Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
