You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
