singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
