im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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