I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
