sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Houston, we have a blender
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
